


Don’t Really Feel That Way

by asexualjuliet



Series: Ace of Spades [6]
Category: The OC (TV)
Genre: Asexual Ryan Atwood, Asexuality, Coming Out, Episode: s04e10 The French Connection, F/M, I just think he deserves it ok, Implied/Referenced Sex, Relationship Negotiations, a shit ton of dialogue, is that a thing? idk, they’re such a cute couple i love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28138323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asexualjuliet/pseuds/asexualjuliet
Summary: Remember when Henri-Michel wrote that erotic novel about Taylor and it freaked Ryan out but he said it wasn’t about the sex? Well, this time it is. Because he’s ace.Or, I’m ace and I just think he’s neat.
Relationships: Ryan Atwood/Taylor Townsend
Series: Ace of Spades [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1578973
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	Don’t Really Feel That Way

**Author's Note:**

> thinking about him... ace Ryan Atwood... i love him so much  
> This headcanon is thoroughly influenced by acelandonkirby’s moodboards on tumblr so thank you to him (pepper_407 on here—all his content is very lovely and very queer, go check it out)
> 
> This is the first time I’ve written an ace character who’s not, like, sex-repulsed?? and i very well may have fucked it up, because i’m a very sex-repulsed ace and don’t know much about the other side of the spectrum... so if i screwed up please let me know how to fix it.
> 
> Also yeah, I know Taylor’s reaction isn’t ideal... it’s obviously a bit insensitive, but i feel like it’s in keeping with her character, and it was 2007, so she really wouldn’t know any better... she gets better at the end, though.
> 
> Anyway... ace Ryan rights
> 
> Hope you enjoy!!

“Listen, I’m sorry,” Ryan says. “I don’t—I’m sorry I freaked, I just—”

“Think I’m a _slut,”_ Taylor finishes bitterly. 

Ryan sighs. “No, God, Taylor, I just—” He takes a deep breath. “I know I’m not Henri-Michel, okay? And I know you know it, too.”

“Ryan—”

“I don’t—” He runs a hand over his face. “God, give me a second.”

Taylor nods. 

“Sex is—” Ryan starts. Takes a deep breath. “Sex is, like, _fine,_ I guess, but it’s not—”

“Oh my God,” Taylor says. “You think I’m _such_ a slut, oh my _God!”_

 _“Taylor,”_ he says desperately. “God—Please let me finish, okay?”

“Sorry,” she says, flushing red. 

“I don’t—” he stops. “Shit, I—”

“Take your time,” Taylor says softly, squeezing his hand. 

“I really like you,” he says. “You’re awesome, okay? And I really, really like you—”

 _“But…”_ Taylor cuts him off

“Sex is—it’s good, it’s okay, but it’s not, like, my _thing,”_ he explains. Taylor’s brow furrows. 

“And it’s not you,” he assures her. “You’re great, you’re awesome, you’re super cool, but I just—I don’t know, I’ve never looked at someone and, like, actively wanted to have sex with them, y’know?”

Taylor’s blank stare makes it clear that she does not, in fact, know. 

“It’s not that we, like, can’t ever have sex,” he says. “I just—there’s some stuff in that book that—”

Taylor opens her mouth to argue, but closes it with one look from Ryan. 

“I’m worried I’m not—I’m not gonna be enough for you,” he says. “I’m okay with just sex, but there’s—there’s just a lot of stuff that I’m really not comfortable with doing. Including a lot of stuff, like, in the book, so…”

“It’s okay if it’s me,” Taylor says. “If there’s something about me that just, like, turns you off. We don’t have to keep—to keep doing… whatever this is if you don’t want.”

There are tears in her eyes, and Ryan feels a pit open in his stomach. 

“That’s not—” he takes a deep breath. “That’s not it, Taylor, I swear. I just don’t—” he pauses. “I don’t get those feelings, okay? And that doesn’t mean that we’ll never have sex. I’ve had sex before, and it’s not—it’s not my thing, but it’s not, like, inherently bad either.”

Silence envelopes them. Ryan looks at the ground, too scared of what he might see on Taylor’s face. 

“Please say something,” he says. 

“You still like me, right?” she asks. 

Ryan sighs. “Of course I do,” he says. “I just…”

Taylor nods. 

“We don’t…” she starts, then bites her lip. “We don’t need to have sex at all, you know. If you’re not—if you’re not comfortable with it. It’s—I really like you, Ryan, and if you don’t want to, it’s fine. We can just…” she trails off. 

“Hold hands?” Ryan asks, lacing their fingers together. 

Taylor smiles. “And kiss,” she says. “I mean, if you want.”

Ryan gives a slight smile before leaning in to meet her lips.

“Are we fine?” he asks after he pulls away. 

“Yeah,” Taylor says with a smile. “We’re fine.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!
> 
> All mistakes are my own, please don’t hesitate to point them out!
> 
> Kudos/Comments are much appreciated!!


End file.
